There's No Place Like Home
- Emma
- May 7, 2017
- 11 min read
Four incredible months in this wonderful country already and I do not know where the time has gone. Equally I feel as though I have been in Australia a lot longer than just four months; I feel as though I have been here a lifetime and that Perth, and in particular Fremantle, has always been my home.
That said, a couple of months ago I was missing my actual home a lot and found myself getting very upset where I was struggling with homesickness. Throughout our travels in Asia, I didn't feel as though I really struggled with homesickness at all. Of course, I missed my friends and family but I was having too much fun travelling the world to feel the pangs of home tugging at my heartstrings. It wasn't until we settled into everyday normal life in Australia that I found myself wondering what on earth I was doing on the opposite side of the world when my whole life was back in the UK. It was around Christmas that I first started to feel as though I was homesick. It was the run up to Christmas and Christmas Eve that had me missing home the most. We have such an amazing network of friends in Perth and we all become each other's family when our real families are thousands of miles away. Both Rich and I felt so lucky that we were provided with such a soft landing when we first arrived, and everybody was just amazing to us. I don't know what we would have done without those amazing friends. But in the run up to Christmas, I missed my own friends and my own traditions and felt so sad that my nearest and dearest were celebrating without me and I was missing out.
The feelings soon passed as we all enjoyed Christmas Day together in Perth. I realised that where we were was incredible and it was no use wishing I was somewhere else, otherwise I'd miss out on enjoying the moment of celebrating Christmas Day in a pool in 40 degree sunshine with lovely company in Australia. So I decided to live in the moment, remember where I was and enjoy it because it was amazing!
Rich and I both started jobs and moved into our own place and the homesickness feelings were all gone, albeit for the odd pang here and there. I'd started to make friends and was starting to feel like this place was my home. A few weeks later however, the homesickness managed to rear its head again and this time I felt as though it was a lot stronger than the feelings I experienced at Christmas.
One of my really close friends had a baby and two other close friends got married to each other in the same month and I think these events were the catalyst for the homesickness bug sweeping over me again. I was beside myself with sadness that I was missing out on these majors events happening in my friends' lives. I asked myself again and again what I was doing in Australia. My life was back in the UK and I loved my life there; I have amazing friends and a great social life; my family is there and I miss just popping round to my sister's for a cup of tea or having dinner with my dad. I miss the small things that maybe I used to take for granted when I lived there.
I started to question why I was in Australia. One of the biggest struggles at the moment is my issue with my visa and work rights and this is having a huge impact on how I feel about moving here. I want to feel settled in a job as I know that will help me feel more settled overall. Currently I am on a Working Holiday Visa where I can only work for a company for a maximum of six months. Even if a company want to keep you on past that time, you're not allowed to do so on this visa. You can go off and find a job somewhere else, but you're not allowed to stay past that six months in that company. This makes life difficult when trying to find a job as a lot of employers will not hire people on Working Holiday Visas as they know that the work restriction is in place. It's understandable from their point of view; why would you employ someone and train them up when you know they have to leave in six months? They're better off employing an Australian citizen who can stay permanently, which is absolutely fair enough. For now I am taking any temporary work I can get, but the uncertainty of it all was making me question my decision to move to the other side of the world. The temp work has only been for a few weeks at a time and whilst I've been grateful for any work, it's just hard not knowing if you're going to have any work at all. I'm a citizen of the UK and have full working rights there so to move to Australia where I had none of these work rights was a bold decision and I was starting to question if it was the right one. I found myself getting upset and frustrated about being here and feeling homesick and not having a permanent job and feeling so unsettled. Obviously I moved here so that Rich and I could start a life together and it was fantastic to be here with him, but something just kept nagging at me that was making me question it all and whether I'd done the right thing. Rich was continually supportive of me throughout all these feelings and it was nice to know he'd experienced it when he first moved here a few years ago. It was just nice to know that my feelings were normal. And I guess people all over the world have these feelings and they are completely to be expected. There truly is no place like home after all.
During this time when I was feeling at my worst, Rich found out that he got the job he had applied for as a Rail Engineer up on the mine sites approximately 1300 KM away. Again this raised feelings about what I was doing here. I came to Australia to be with Rich and then finding out that he would be away for two weeks at a time was devastating, particularly as we'd only just moved into our first little home together and I was so happy and excited about this. He was so excited about the job, and the money is amazing, so we knew he had to take it. It'll mean we can save money and buy a house and he can buy that all important Tesla he has been dreaming about for so long. These were our goals from the beginning so I knew this job would help us step closer to achieving them. I knew I should be happy for him as he really wanted this job, so instead of getting down about it all, I decided to embrace it and support his decision. I decided that instead of feeling sad about the situation, I would choose to make the most of it. I decided that Rich going away would be a positive thing for me. Up until this point, I had relied on him for everything, but I thought that him being away so much would give me the opportunity to focus on me and do some things I wanted to do. I wanted to join some clubs and meet people and get and about and explore, get fit again. As much as I say I moved here to be with Rich, I do need to remember that I also moved here for me and that I need to make my own life here as well.
So as Rich now works so far away he has to fly in and fly out of the mine site (hence the term FIFO). It's a common term used here in Perth and many men and women fly up to various mine sites to earn a better living than if they worked in the city. The cost of earning such a living is that they subsequently spend a lot of time away from their families. Lots of people make it work and I know some women swear the only reason their relationship works is because their partner is away so much! Joking aside, we know it will be tough but equally we know that we can do it, as we spent so much time in a long distance relationship when we were in the UK. It made me sad to think that the reason we came to Australia was to be together and then he'd be away more than he would be at home, but again I just knew it was something Rich had to do. And we both agreed it wouldn't be forever anyway. It would just be for a year or two to give us the opportunity to save some money. And like I said, we knew we could do it and that it would make the time spent together much more amazing.
During the time that I felt homesick, I never actually wanted to return to the UK. Sure, I missed it and the people there, but I would never just quit this new life after only a few months without really trying properly. Rich and I both said that you have to give it a try for around two years before you can get some idea of whether it is for you or not. I would never have moved back to the UK after just three or four months of living in Australia - I knew I needed to really give it my best shot and embrace it with my arms open.
I soon reminded myself that a lot of people would absolutely love the opportunity to come and live in Australia and many people just don't have that opportunity. I reminded myself how lucky I was and that I should look around me and realise that where I live is pretty amazing. This city is just incredible and I am forever in awe at where I live. I started to pick up again and although I still miss my friends and family, I was starting to feel better about everything. Rich said that the first six months are always the hardest and I am pretty sure that if you didn't get homesick at some stage, it wouldn't be normal. When I remind myself that I left my entire life behind to come here, I realise how massive that is and of course it was never going to be easy. I started to remember that I really love my life here and I love how much we have on our doorstep - amazing beaches (some of the best in the world, I'd say), beautiful weather and so much to see and do. Rich and I try to get out at weekends as much as we can so that we are fully exploring the wonderful natural beauty that surrounds us and making the most of it. And just because I was feeling homesick, it doesn't mean I wasn't appreciating all of this. I didn't want to just stop exploring when Rich went away either. I knew that I needed to get out even more to make the most of this amazing place and to do more things for me.
I knew that I had to put myself out there and make the most of the situation. I have been spending a lot of time with our friends who started off as Rich's friends but have now become my friends too. Some of them live an hour away but I will make the effort to drive up and see them and I've realised I need to become very much a 'yes' person. Other friends have adopted me and invited me along for day trips with their families and on nights out with their friends, which has been so nice. I realised that I was so worried about being alone, I hadn't actually given a thought to poor Rich up on the mine site all on his own. I was too busy thinking about how this would affect me, that I didn't give a thought to how he'd be dealing with it. I, at least, have our friends and so much available to me, but he is up there not knowing a single person and stuck in the middle of nowhere. At least I have plenty to do to keep me occupied. His first weekend on the site was Easter weekend and while I was enjoying being out with friends and having a good time, he was working all of it and feeling a bit sorry for himself. He gets up for work around 4.30 am and works a 12 hour day so it was pretty hard going for him to start with. I think he is slowly getting used to it a bit now. He does have quite a few things to do up there too, like a pool, gym, pub etc, so when he gets used to it all a bit more, he will have things to keep him busy. Of course, when he is off-shift he has ten days off each time, so at least when he is home, we can really make the most of it and spend some quality time together. When we get that infamous Tesla we are planning to go on lots of road trips and go camping, which is super exciting.
Whilst being alone and living in this amazing place, I have recently discovered a love for walking. I've always enjoyed walking but lately I have started to enjoy it a lot more (probably because the weather is just so amazing). I find it's a great way to get outside, explore my surroundings and get fit - and best of all it's free! I have been doing a lot of walking the last few weeks and wearing a fitness tracker on my wrist certainly helps motivate me. I can't believe how many steps I am clocking up and I am thoroughly enjoying it. If I haven't hit that 10,000 daily steps goal, it will make me go out and do a few laps of the park or head to the beach to boost them and I find it very rewarding to hit a goal every day and know you are doing something positive for your mind and body. Walking is just a great way for me to see this amazing place that I live and it's just a brilliant way for me to be active and busy. I was very much into my fitness back home; running and going to exercise classes but I feel that right now I am just so into walking. I have just joined a walking club too so hopefully I will be able to meet more people while enjoying a lovely walk and seeing my gorgeous surroundings.
I also have intentions of joining some other clubs, such as a running club and a book club. I want to feel as though I am 100% here in the moment and soaking up living in Australia. Just lately the homesickness feelings seemed to have faded away and I realise just how much I love it here. For now, I can't imagine living anywhere else and that's what I need to remember - to be 'here right now' and make the most of this fantastic opportunity. I am always so worried about missing out on what is happening in my friends' lives, but I need to remember if I didn't seize these opportunities, I would be missing out on the things that are meant to be happening in my own life. And that is very important. I want to know that I gave it everything I've got and that I have no regrets. Even if in a couple of years, I do decide that Australia just isn't for me and I want to go back to the UK, at least I know that I tried and gave it my all. And that's all you can do. I also know that the job situation will get better when we apply for our defacto partnership visa that will allow me to stay in the country as a permanent resident. That will be a long and stressful process but ultimately I know that eventually everything will fall into place and it will all be worth it. I miss my friends and family but I am going back home for four weeks in July so at least I will see them all then and that's amazing to have something to look forward to. I think it's important to schedule visits to go home so that you can remember where you came from and see the people that you love. This decision to move to Australia was never going to be easy but I am so ready for what's ahead for us. It's the toughest and most amazing thing I have ever done and I know that things will come together and it will get easier. I just have to keep strong, remember why I moved here and run at it with open arms. This place is just incredible and I am so lucky to call it home.
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